I was making coffee and a very random memory of my Grandma Aleta came to mind. It was a memory of her napping in the recliner. My Grandma, boy was she something, as most grandmas are. You may be thinking a napping grandma is not anything to write about but when most people think of my grandma, napping isn’t what comes to mind. The day before she broke her hip, she was cooking fried chicken for a wedding reception of 250 people. All by herself. She was 84.
The next day she fell and broke her hip. She had help getting off the floor and help stabilizing her but she walked her stubborn ass to her chair. It was more than 10 feet away. This is the woman I use to set the bar on how to get through tough times. Yet, here I am with a memory of her napping. Often in my memories I overlook the times that she took a rest. Even if they were few and far between, she still allowed herself or maybe succumbed to needing a rest.
It was a light bulb moment that I have been needing. I have this reverse psychology formula that happens when I’m healing.
| Everyday Val | Healing Val |
| Good Health + House Needs Cleaned= Nah, I’m good | Healing + Restrictions= I want to do everything |
Poor Carl.
Sometimes I am so busy trying to be the fried chicken version of my role model that I forget:
- A little over 9 months ago I had a double mastectomy.
- Almost 5 months ago I finished 3 months of chemo.
- Almost 1.5 months ago I finished 6 weeks of daily radiation.
- 18 days ago I had an 8+ hour surgery to put it all back together again.
I write that out as a reminder. Physically my body has gone through some shit lately. People say they don’t think they could do it and they don’t know how I have. Mentally, I just put my head down and say let’s do this. Putting my head down sometimes means that I don’t really realize what all I’ve went through and keeps me from giving myself grace.
I don’t think you can truly survive this journey, whatever your journey is, without some grace. If you try then I think you will likely end up with dis-ease. I’ve had enough of that for a while so I’ll try grace for a while.
Lot’s of people are doing scary new things right now. Remember grace as you do.
