The week has been so fast paced that the beginning of the week seems so far away.
Week before last I saw the plastic surgeon. We have tentatively scheduled reconstruction surgery for the end of July. I initially wanted to wait but there is two windows of time that it can occur and the postponed one would likely put us into next year. This girl met all things insurance the 3rd week of January. Everything is getting done this year if I can help it!
Plastic Surgeon also ordered a CT scan of my abdomen so that he has a road map to work with. I am getting a DIEP flap which is basically taking fat from my belly and making boobs. That’s why he needs a roadmap. The scan is scheduled for this week. This gives me some peace of mind too because if there is any issues in that area we will now have an updated scan to deal with it.
After seeing the plastic surgeon Carl and I went to Indigo Spa. Carl deserves a massage. I’m not able to get full blown massages at this time because of my lymph node removal. I had another Reiki session and the lady used Prana Healing techniques. For me this time is relaxing and I feel lighter afterwards. That’s enough of a benefit to me for repeating.
Chemo was this Tuesday. It has followed close to the same pattern. Wednesday is a good day. Thursday-? are not as fun. Pain is not as intense as first time but it can still be jolting at times. I did acupuncture this week. I do think that it has helped decrease the intensity of pain. It also is something that makes me feel lighter. It definitely is an emotional release for me so again enough of a benefit to repeat.
Not to jinx myself but I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes. Eyebrows have thinned some but I think my strategy of letting them grow to caterpillars and comb them over has worked.
If you couldn’t tell my mind has struggled this week. It’s actually been awhile since that has happened. I guess I had settled into my new normal and my mind felt secure. What’s puzzling for me is the minute it becomes a struggle I drift away from the wellness things that I know are good for me.
I am hyper-focused on getting through the last chemo treatment on 3/24. All the noise around me feeds fear that I won’t get to finish on the 24th. I never dreamed that I would be worried about not getting to go to chemo.
I wrote of the older lady who stopped me at my last treatment and talked. She has two more treatments left. I am not sure what her schedule is but she should be there when I’m there this next time. She has been there every time. She was even there when mom and I “toured” the treatment room. I have promised her I would bring something to celebrate my last time and her nearing her last time.
I bought these angel keychains to give out. They arrived Thursday. Thursday is when the chaos really ramped up for me in regards to the virus. I was on phone calls with people all over the state, calls with my co-workers making plans, all while the tv was on to the news. My mind got overloaded. I know in times like these even without cancer I have to be careful because it can get too much quickly.
Well cancer mind screw wanted to play too. It’s chosen these angels as it’s swing set.
“You know the virus lives on surfaces 9 days.”
“Where did these come from? Have they had any cases”
“Shit! Vendor wrote a hand note too. Great more surfaces”
“ You can’t give these out. What if they have the virus? That’s a great headline. Breast cancer girl spreads virus with angels.”
That’s my internal dialogue I’ve had to work through. The possibility that I spread the virus in Southern Illinois with angel keychains. Judge away…I know how it sounds.
So I sprayed the bag with Lysol. I haven’t opened it yet but when I do I will then clean the angels with disinfectant and put them in their own individual baggie. I’m taking them on the 24th and if nobody wants them guess what everyone is getting for Christmas.
(Go wash your hands and do something to feed your mind so that it doesn’t wander like mine)
